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Yeah, when I grow up, you know what I wanna be?
Take a seat, let me tell you my ridiculous dreams
I wanna rap, yeah, I know it’s hard to believe
And I can tell you’re already thinkin’ I will never succeed
But I’m okay with it, I admit the lyrics are weak
I been workin’ on ’em, I’ll be good eventually
I understand you gotta crawl before you get to your feet
But I been running for a while, they ain’t ready for me, ah

I know this probably isn’t really realistic
And honestly, I might not ever make a difference
But that don’t make a difference, I’ma have to risk it
I been crunchin’ numbers, you ain’t gotta be a mathematician
And see the odds ain’t rootin’ for me
I can’t lie though, it’s kinda how I like it to be
The underdog, yeah, you probably think you know what I mean
But what I’m saying is they ever push me, I’m gonna swing, yeah

I could go to college, get in debt like everybody else
Graduate and probably get a job that doesn’t pay the bills
That don’t make a lot of sense to me, forget the Happy Meals
I don’t like the dollar menu, I would rather make a meal
Huh? Make a mil’? Nah, I said make a meal
Home-cookin’, get the grill, how you want it? Pretty well?
Everything I see is overdone to me, I’m not Adele
But I’ma get a record deal and say hello to mass appeal

When I grow up, I just want to pay my bills
Rappin’ ’bout the way I feel, oh yeah
I just want to make a couple mil’
Leave it to the fam in the will, oh yeah
I just want to sign a record deal
Maybe buy a house up in the hills, oh yeah
Might not be the best in my field
But I guarantee that I’ma die real
When I grow up

Yeah, ayy
When I grow up
Yeah, yeah, ayy

I’ma make ’em notice me, rhymin’ like it’s poetry
Everything I oversee, I just like to overthink
Mockin’ me, you pay the fee, no return and no receipts
Those of you that don’t believe, quiet, you don’t know a thing
Quiet when I’m tryna sing, quiet when I’m making beats
Quiet when I’m tryna think, sorry, I don’t mean to scream
I just feel like no one really gets me and it’s sad to see
‘Cause someday I’ma grow up and show all of you it’s meant to be, yeah

Anybody wanna hear me rap? (No)
Come on, let me play a couple tracks (no)
Come on, I can spit it really fast (no)
You think I should throw this in the trash? (No)
Tricked you, haters, go away before I hit you
I am not a beggar or a kiss-up
You don’t understand? Well, I forgive you
I am not a quitter, you ain’t really think that, did you?
Maybe someday I could even be up on the radio
Have a tour bus and maybe even play a couple shows
Everybody in the crowd singin’ every word I wrote
Tellin’ me that I am not the only one that feels alone
Huh? You feel alone? Yeah, I kinda feel alone
Wonder if that feelin’ ever goes away when you get old
Will I ever make it as an artist? I don’t really know
Might not make a lot of dough, I’ma have to try it, though

When I grow up, I just want to pay my bills
Rappin’ about the way I feel, oh yeah
I just want to make a couple mil’
Leave it to the fam in the will, oh yeah (yeah)
I just want to sign a record deal
Maybe buy a house up in the hills, oh yeah (okay)
Might not be the best in my field (ayy)
But I guarantee that I’ma die real (ayy, oh)

When I grow up, I just want to pay my bills (woo)
Rappin’ about the way I feel, oh yeah (yeah, the way I feel)
Yeah, I just want to make a couple mil’ (ayy)
Leave it to the fam in the will, oh yeah (to the fam in the will)
I just want to sign a record deal (woo)
Maybe buy a house up in the hills, oh yeah (a house up in the hills)
Yeah, I might not be the best in my field (ayy)
But I guarantee that I’ma die real
When I grow up

When I die, put my ashes in the trash bag
I don’t care where they go
Don’t waste your money on my gravestone
I’m more concerned about my soul
Everybody’s gon’ die
Don’t everybody live though
Sometimes I look up to the sky
And wonder do You see us down here?

Oh Lord, oh Lord, do You see us down here?
Oh Lord, oh Lord

Listen, yeah everybody wants change
Don’t nobody wanna change though
Don’t nobody wanna pray
Till they got something to pray for
Now everybody’s gon’ die
But don’t everybody live though
Sometimes I look up to the sky
And wonder do you see us down here?

Oh Lord, oh Lord, do You see us down here?
Oh Lord, oh Lord

It’s easy to blame God but harder to fix things
We look in the sky like, “why ain’t You listening?”
Watching the news in our living rooms on the big screens
And talking ’bout “if God’s really real, then where is He?”
You see the same God that you saying might not even exist
Becomes real to us, but only when we dying in bed
When ya healthy it’s like, we don’t really care for Him then
Leave me alone God, I’ll call you when I need you again
Which is funny, everyone will sleep in the pews
Then blame God for our problems like He sleeping on you
We turn our backs on Him, what do you expect Him to do?
It’s hard to answer prayers when nobody’s praying to you
I look around at this world we walk on
It’s a smack in the face, don’t ever tell me there’s no God
And if there isn’t then what are we here for?
And what are y’all doing down there? I don’t know Lord

Oh Lord, oh Lord, do You see us down here?
Oh Lord, oh Lord

Do You see us down here? Oh Lord
Can You see us down here? Oh Lord
Oh Lord, oh Lord
Can You see us? Can’t You see us?

Look
Self-awareness, pride’s a coat, and yes, I like to wear it
Buttoned up, don’t like to let no air in
With a pair of gloves that I hope doesn’t perish
I discovered, though, when I get holes in them
And I let joy in, I’m in higher spirits
My mistakes are like a screamin’ parrot
Just repeating lyrics, I can barely bear it when I’m lost

Road is narrow, I’m lookin’ down it like a gun’s barrel
Aren’t we all searchin’ for the serum
That could help us breathe and leave our state of peril?
All of us have made defensive scarecrows
That we scatter ’round our fields and treat like heroes
When they scare away the things that we should cherish
‘Cause we’re too embarrassed to admit the fear is that we’re lost

Yeah, but what does it matter? I get so combative
Inside of me’s a personal canvas, the paint can be splattered
Get messy when I start to get rattled
The heart of a savage, I’m quiet when I lurk in the shadows
But somethin’ don’t add up, I don’t wanna be overdramatic
But look at the data, it’s obvious that humans are fragile
We tend to get mad at the ones that call us out
But the fact is we need someone that’ll be honest when we fly off the handle

I admit I throw a fit when I begin to unravel
Keep my wits, been off the grid but now I’m back in the saddle
My intent is not to rent, I like to own what I value
I could sit here on the fence or maybe pick up the paddle
I like to row against the current, that’s the way that I travel
Opposite of what the grain does, got the brain of a rebel
Take initiative, I’m diligent on every level
I never could settle, I like to keep my foot on the pedal, yeah

I’d love to pack arenas and all
But what I really wanna do is learn to handle my thoughts
And put the reins on ’em, show ’em I’m the one that’s the boss
And pull ’em back when they get out of hand, I’m breakin’ they jaws
I’m takin’ the flaws that told me I could never evolve
Then pull a Bane on ’em, ask ’em, “Oh, you think you’re in charge?”
You oughta know better, ain’t no way around it, I’m flawed
The traits that I want, they say I can’t afford what it cost

But I (I), manifested this
Failing’s how you grow and learn your lessons, kids
Take the worst and try to make the best of it
‘Cause when you fail, just know that it’s a test and if
You can learn to pick yourself back up again
And train your brain to not be such a pessimist
It’s okay to make mistakes, just don’t forget that
There’s a high road but I skip the exit when I’m lost

Yeah
When I’m lost
When I’m lost (lost)
When I’m lost
When I’m lost (lost), lost

Wow, these burdens are heavy
And I’m hopin’ it don’t bury me
I used to be joyful and skip so merrily
But now I’m too cautious and tip toe carefully
My mind left and it’s nowhere to be found
Am I a big old parody?
‘Cause it’s no fair to me
And now I’m at the point where I’m spending a grand a week on hypnotherapy

Look, I’m tryna wash away my sins
I got a group of loved ones that ain’t my friends
And if I ever take an L, then they might grin
And they all wanna see me stay in the cage I’m in
So when it comes to anybody, there’s no trust for no one
Man, so what? My whole plan’s to go nuts
My shoulders ready for more shrugs, I’m gon’ judge
Anybody tryna enter my circle with no love (hold up)

My sanity’s gone, I’d rather be torn from this planet they planted me on
Yes, that’s a reward, I’m actually bored with having a sore heart
It’s torn apart from a family that I don’t have anymore (now hol’ up)
I was livin’ so oblivious with millions, it really was a pity, huh? (A pity, huh?)
It’s kinda funny what a penny does, mixed in with a mini buzz (I feel stuck)

Life’s got me by the neck, with a blade against it (what?)
‘Cause I was runnin’ late for the train and missed it (what?)
The only thing I feel is pain and vengeance (what?)
So I’ma act out like a raging misfit (what?)
And every verse I lay gon’ stay sadistic (yeah)
You wanna hate me? Good, great, terrific (good)
You’ll never see the day where my anger’s dismissed
You better go and change your wishlist ’cause I

Yeah, manifested this
Do not treat me like some adolescent kid
I am praying to the Lord with the book of James
Hopin’ he gon’ add my testament
This dark cloud, that’s my residence
Demons knockin’, I don’t have to let ’em in
I done made mistakes, day to day, you probably can’t relate
I just ain’t the same when I’m lost

Yeah
When I’m lost (when I’m, yeah)
When I’m lost (lost)
When I’m lost
When I’m lost (lost), lost

I heard you told your friends that I’m just not your type
If that’s how you really feel, then why’d you call last night?
You say all I ever do is just control your life
But how you gonna lie like that, how you gonna lie like that?

Yeah, I heard you said I ain’t the type for you
I don’t regret it though, I learned from it
They should have you locked up for all the time you stole from us
Took you out when I had no money
Only person that you ever cared about was you, that’s why it’s so funny
You want somebody that’ll keep you warm at night, then tell me, why you actin’ cold to me?
You ain’t the only one to blame, no
I’m the one that made you rich when I bought every lie you sold to me
Yeah, heard you threw away the pictures
But you still got the memories of us, so I guess that don’t really make a difference
Flippin’ through ’em in your head
Got you texting me all hours any night
Yeah, you told me that you needed distance
What’s the deal with you?
You say you want a man that keeps it real
Then why you mad when I get real with you?
You want someone to pay the bills for you
Went from feelin’ you, now I feel for you, liar

I heard you told your friends that I’m just not your type
If that’s how you really feel, then why’d you call last night?
You say all I ever do is just control your life
But how you gonna lie like that, how you gonna lie like that?

Look, let me guess, you want to stay friends?
Tellin’ people that’s how we been?
Tellin’ everybody, yeah that we was barely speakin’
All this kinda funny, why’d you call me every day then?
It’s immaturity, you goin’ off the deep end
You just want somebody you can chill and get some drinks with, cool
Then don’t hit me on the weekend, tellin’ me
You missed the way we talked and how I listen, yeah
Why you playin’ with my mind, huh?
Why you playin’ with my time, huh?
Told me we should let it go and put it all behind us
That’s what I did, now you askin’ me what I done, I was
Waitin’ for this day, I saw it comin’
I think you just like attention, tryna tell me all your problems
I got issues of my own, I ain’t got time for all this drama
You told me that you don’t really wanna talk, then why you callin’, huh?

I heard you told your friends that I’m just not your type
If that’s how you really feel, then why’d you call last night?
You say all I ever do is just control your life
But how you gonna lie like that, how you gonna lie like that?

How you gonna lie, how you gonna lie like that?
Baby how you gonna lie, how you gonna lie like that?
How you gonna lie, baby, how you gonna lie like that?
No, no, how you gonna lie like that?

I heard you told your friends that I’m just not your type
If that’s how you really feel, then why’d you call last night?
You say all I ever do is just control your life
But how you gonna lie like that, how you gonna lie like that?

Tell me how you ’bout to lie like that
Tell me how you ’bout to lie like that

Feels like we’re on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I’m proud
I’m sorry that I let you down
I let you down

All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I’m sorry that I let you down
Let you down

Yeah, I guess I’m a disappointment
Doing everything I can
I don’t wanna make you disappointed
It’s annoying
I just wanna make you feel like everything I ever did
Was never tryna make an issue for you
But I guess the more you thought about everything
You were never even wrong in the first place, right?

Yeah, I’ma just ignore you, walking towards you
With my head down, lookin’ at the ground, I’m embarrassed for you
Paranoia, what did I do wrong this time? That’s parents for you
Very loyal? Shoulda had my back but you put a knife in it
My hands are full, what else should I carry for you?
I cared for you, but

Feels like we’re on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I’m proud
I’m sorry that I let you down
Let you down

All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I’m sorry that I let you down
Let you down

Yeah, you don’t wanna make this work
You just wanna make this worse
Want me to listen to you
But you don’t ever hear my words
You don’t wanna know my hurt, yet
Let me guess
You want an apology, probably
How can we keep going at a rate like this?
We can’t, so I guess I’ma have to leave

Please don’t come after me
I just wanna be alone right now, I don’t really wanna think at all
Go ahead, just drink it off
Both know you’re gonna call tomorrow like nothing’s wrong
Ain’t that what you always do?
I feel like every time I talk to you
You’re in an awful mood
What else can I offer you?
There’s nothing left right now, I gave it all to you

Feels like we’re on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I’m proud
I’m sorry that I let you down
Let you down

All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I’m sorry that I let you down
Let you down

Yeah, don’t talk down to me
That’s not gonna work now
Packed all my clothes and I moved out
I don’t even wanna go to your house
Everytime I sit on that couch I feel like you lecture me
Eventually, I bet that we could have made this work
And probably woulda figured things out

But I guess I’m a letdown
But it’s cool, I checked out
Oh, you wanna be friends now?
Okay, let’s put my fake face on and pretend now
Sit around and talk about the good times
That didn’t even happen
I mean, why are you laughing?
Must have missed that joke let me see if I can find a reaction
No, but at least you’re happy

Feels like we’re on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I’m proud
I’m sorry that I let you down
Oh, I let you down

All these voices in my head get loud
And I wish that I could shut them out
I’m sorry that I let you down
Oh, let you down

Yeah, I’m sorry
I’m so sorry now
Yeah, I’m sorry
That I let you down

Just in case my car goes off the highway
Or the plane that I get on decides that it’s my last day
I want you to know when you’re alone and you feel afraid
You’re not the only person in the world that isn’t okay

There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you
There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you

It’s strange the way the mind can wander, but also stop to gossip
And chat with memories that you and me aren’t really fond of
Maybe you’re out to find love, maybe you lost who you was
Maybe you’re just like me and feel the need to stay in your rut
‘Cause if you left it, you might feel like you’re no longer you
It’s so impressive, the way the mind can play with the truth
It’s interestin’ that nobody can walk in your shoes
But still relate and feel the same so in a way, guess we do

You ever think about what it would be like
If the clouds were gone and you could see light?
If the door was open would you take flight
Or just close the curtains up and stay inside?
Take a walk with me, take a risk with me
I’m scared too and it gets so tempting
When you’re so empty, to disown everything you hold
Dearly, when you know
Clearly, you’ve been so buried, in your own
Fairy tale, the soul’s tearing bunch of holes in me
I relate to it, but in case you been thinking no one does
Here’s a great theory
Throw a hail Mary, let your mind fly
To the sunrise, could be so scary
Make your faith vary, feel the pain glaring
But the weight carried ain’t in vain hear me (hear me)

Just in case my car goes off the highway
Or the plane that I get on decides that it’s my last day
I want you to know when you’re alone and you feel afraid
You’re not the only person in the world that isn’t okay

There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you
There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you

So often I feel desperate, I think my heart’s infected
How about yours? How about yours? How about yours? I guess if
You feel the best when your life is hectic
You might be destined to stay defective
So join the club, it ain’t that hard to get in
It’s hard to leave though, look at the guest list
I bet that, your name is on it, don’t believe me? Check it
See dead ends in life we come to tend to raise some questions
Suggestion, know that your feelings might give wrong directions
Infested, yeah, with the feeling of failure
Let it take over your body it makes you
Question the life that you have situations
You might have enjoyed, become nothing but dated
Old and forgotten but what would you say
If I told you that there was some hope we could make it?
I know what you’re thinkin’, I’m thinkin’ it too
Could you really improve and be something worth savin’?
See, I could pretend like I have all the answers
But none of us do, it’s the reason we battle
Convincing yourself that you don’t really matter’s
Like feeding a cancer and letting it travel
To every part of you but what if we did
The unthinkable and cancel our trips?
What’s achievable depends on the risk
So pick up your chin and listen to this

Just in case my car goes off the highway
Or the plane that I get on decides that it’s my last day
I want you to know when you’re alone and you feel afraid
You’re not the only person in the world that isn’t okay

There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you
There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you (you, you, you)

Yeah
Everybody falls sometimes
Just remember that that’s alright
It’s the rainy days that give us love for the sun
And if it isn’t, I guess I’ll be fine believing it does, oh yeah
Everybody falls sometimes
Just remember that that’s alright
It’s the lows in life that make you cherish the highs
And if isn’t, I guess I’ll be fine believing a lie, ayy

Just in case my car goes off the highway
Or the plane that I get on decides that it’s my last day
I want you to know when you’re alone and you feel afraid
You’re not the only person in the world that isn’t okay

There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you
There’s millions of us just like you, like you, like you
Just like you, like you

I just need some time, I’m tryna think straight
I just need a moment in my own space
Ask me how I’m doin’, I’ll say “okay, ” yeah
But ain’t that what we all say?
Sometimes I think back to the old days
In the pointless conversations with the old me
Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me
I wish somebody woulda told me

If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love

Yeah, as a kid I used to think life
Is moving so slow, I watch it go by
Look out the window on my bus ride
I thought the world was so small, through my closed eyes
I’ve always tried to control things
In the end that’s what controls me
Maybe that’s why I’m controllin’
I wish somebody woulda told me

If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love

The older I get, I feel like I’m always tryna save time
Talkin’ to the voices in my head, they make me think twice
Tellin’ me it doesn’t mean it’s wrong because it feels right
I’m scared that one day I wake up and wonder where the time go
Talk about the past like it’s the present while I rock slow
I’ll sit in the living room and laugh with kids of my own
And tell ’em

If you want love, you gon’ have to go through the pain
I wish you woulda told me
If you want love, you gon’ have to learn how to change
I wish somebody woulda told me
If you want trust, you gon’ have to give some away
You gon’ have to give
If you want love, if you want love
If you want love, if you want love

Hope
Yeah, I’m on my way, I’m coming
Don’t, don’t lose faith in me
I know you’ve been waitin’
I know you’ve been prayin’ for my soul
Hope, hope

Thirty years you been draggin’ your feet
Tellin’ me I’m the reason we’re stagnant
Thirty years you’ve been claiming you’re honest
And promising progress, well, where’s it at?
I don’t want you to feel like a failure (failure)
I know this hurts
But I gave you your chance to deliver (deliver)
Now it’s my turn
Don’t get me wrong, Nate, you’ve had a great run
But it’s time to give the people somethin’ different
So without further ado, I’d
Like to introduce my
(My album, my album, my album, my album, my album, my album, my album)
Hope
What’s my definition of success? (Of success)
Listening to what your heart says (your heart says)
Standing up for what you know is (is)
Right, while everybody else is (is)
Tucking their tail between their legs (okay)
What’s my definition of success? (Of success)
Creating something no one else can (else can)
Being brave enough to dream big (big)
Grindin’ when you’re told to just quit (quit)
Giving more when you got nothin’ left (left)
It’s a person that’ll take a chance on
Something they were told could never happen
It’s a person that can see the bright side through the dark times when there ain’t one
It’s when someone who ain’t never had nothin’
Ain’t afraid to walk away from more profit
‘Cause they’d rather do somethin’ that they really love and take the pay cut
It’s a person that would never waver
Or change who they are
Just to try and gain some credibility
So they could feel accepted by a stranger
It’s a person that can take the failures in their life and turn them into motivation
It’s believing in yourself when no one else does, it’s amazing

What a little bit of faith can do if you don’t even believe in you
Why would you think or expect anybody else that’s around you to?
I done did things that I regret
I done said things I can’t take back
Was a lost soul at a crossroad who had no hope but I changed that
I spent years of my life holdin’ on to things I never should’ve kept, full of hatred
Years of my life carryin’ a lot of baggage that I should’ve walked away from
Years of my life wishin’ I was someone different, lookin’ for some validation
Years of my life tryna fill the void, pretending I was in
They get it

Growing pain’s a necessary evil
Difficult to go through, yes, but beneficial
Some would say having a mental breakdown is a negative thing
Which on one hand, I agree with
On the other hand, it was the push I needed
To get help and start the healing process, see
If I’d have never hit rock bottom
Would I be the person that I am today?
I don’t believe so
I’m a prime example of what happens when you choose to not accept defeat and face your demons
Took me thirty years to realize that if you want to get the opportunity
To be the greatest version of yourself
Sometimes you got to be someone you’re not to hear the voice of reason
Having kids will make you really take a step back and look in the mirror
At least for me that’s what it did, I

Wake up every day and pick my son up, hold him in my arms
And let him know he’s loved (loved)
Standing by the window questioning if dad is ever going to show up (up)
Isn’t something he’s gon’ have to worry about
Don’t get it twisted, that wasn’t a shot
Mama, I forgive you
I just don’t want him to grow up thinkin’ that he’ll never be enough
Thirty years of running, thirty years of searching
Thirty years of hurting, thirty years of pain
Thirty years of fearful, thirty years of anger
Thirty years of empty, thirty years of shame
Thirty years of broken, thirty years of anguish
Thirty years of hopeless, thirty years of (hey)
Thirty years of never, thirty years of maybe
Thirty years of later, thirty years of fake
Thirty years of hollow, thirty years of sorrow
Thirty years of darkness, thirty years of (Nate)
Thirty years of baggage, thirty years of sadness
Thirty years of stagnant, thirty years of chains
Thirty years of anxious, thirty years of suffering
Thirty years of torment, thirty years of (wait)
Thirty years of bitter, thirty years of lonely
Thirty years of pushing everyone away
(You’ll never evolve) I know I can change
(We are not enough) we are not the same
(You don’t have the heart) you don’t have the strength
(You don’t have the will) you don’t have the faith
(You’ll never be loved) you’ll never be safe
(Might as well give up) not running away
(You don’t have the guts) you’re the one afraid
I’m the one in charge
I’m taking the (no)
I’m taking the
Reigns